"Forever Together - Erik & Lillian" - advertising mailer, October 2016.

Who Is Lillian?

I had to chide my husband Erik today after we received this piece of mail:

"Forever Together - Erik & Lillian" - advertising mailer, October 2016.
“Forever Together – Erik & Lillian” – advertising mailer, October 2016.

“Who’s Lillian?” I asked.

From the language in the mailer, it’s obvious the advertiser is aiming to encourage my husband to spark some romance through the purchase of jewelry.

“From the moment you first met her, you knew you were destined for each other. This Christmas, express the depth of your eternal bond with a pendant that truly celebrates your love. A gift that says that Erik and Lillian will be … Forever Together.” (Gack! Saccharin! Note the dramatic pause before “Forever Together.”)

This pendant necklace “features your names and two Swarovski birthstones of your choice,” “stunning at only $69.”

Erik knows one person named Lillian and it’s not me. It was his grandma. If this was intended for Erik and his grandma, well, that’s just plain creepy. Besides, Erik’s grandma was never Lillian Warner. She was Lillian (Sundquist) Pigman.

As sophisticated as the business of trading mailing lists has become, with Erik and I having been married for close to 30 years, you’d think they’d have gotten the memo that it’s Erik & Mary, not Erik & Lillian. The advertiser also ought to know that I’m not a jewelry gal and if I was, I’d never pick this piece because it’s not my style.

So, then, I’d have to say this was a massive FAIL on the part of The Danbury Mint, who sent us this mailer. “No store can provide something so personal, no jeweler can offer such value.” Ha! Personal! That’s a good one, Danbury Mint.