Package of cotton balls from Walmart, 2019.
observations

Who Knew Cotton Balls Could Be Dangerous?

In the annals of funny packaging that somehow attracts my attention, I’ve got a new observation, this time from a package of cotton balls.

Package of cotton balls from Walmart, 2019.
Package of cotton balls from Walmart, 2019.

Let’s zoom in a bit and look at that “Satisfaction guaranteed” box.

Satisfaction guaranteed box on Walmart cotton balls, 2019.
Satisfaction guaranteed box on Walmart cotton balls, 2019.

“For questions or comments or to report an undesired reaction or side effect, please call ….”

Wait, what?

What “undesired reaction or side effect” are you expecting cotton balls (that are 100% cotton) to have? Are they going to grow teeth and bite me? Are they coated in a chemical that will turn my skin blue?

Should I be concerned for some other reason?

I mean, when you put a warning like that on a bag of cotton balls, it gives me pause.

Or, are you worried I’m going to do something stupid with them, like shove them up my nose?

If I do that, that’s on me, not you.

(Yeah, yeah, I know, forestalling liability and litigation, blah, blah, blah.)

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